The Fine Line of Fashion
“SENSUOUS OR VIRTUOUS”
By: Leann Albrecht
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We live at a time in history when our liberal society would like to accentuate the “sensuous” (a preoccupation with bodily or sexual pleasures) and annihilate the “virtuous” (general moral excellence; right actions and thinking; goodness; strength and courage with the power to choose right). It is a time when purity has little value and sex sells everything. This cultural obsession with “sex” preys on our homes and churches to paralyze our minds and harden our hearts. It seeks to steal the beauty of sex that God intended for it.

Nashville, Tennessee is a melting pot of creative colorful people - you can always pick them out. They are the artistic ones who wear funky clothes, shocking hair colors and have multiple parts of their bodies tattooed or pierced. Personally, I find it fascinating. They are walking exhibits of creativity and many of them are beautiful.

As a role model (one who inspires others to good moral and ethical conduct), we have a responsibility to know what’s hip and what’s not in the “fashion world”. If the latest fashion “rage” is risquÈ, we don’t need to cause an outrage by wearing it. It’s imperative that we know the difference between a creative outfit that is beautiful and one that is creative but offensive. There is a desperate need in nearly every setting for guidelines on this important subject. I have no desire to be the “fashion police”, however, I have gained some wisdom from having lived a life of extremes.

My father was a minister. I was the prodigal teenager who lived the whispered gossip. Eventually I moved to New York as a flight attendant, followed by several years of print and runway modeling in the fashion industry. After moving back to St. Louis, Missouri, I worked as a sales representative in the business world of ad specialties. Now years later, I am a worship leader, writer and speaker… and married to the same man, Carl, for 20 years.

Not long ago, at a conference, a senior pastor extended his hand to me and said, “I just want you to know how much I appreciate you for dressing modestly as a worship leader…. and thank you. I wish everyone who is in leadership could somehow know the importance of that.” The definition of modesty is: Adequately clothed for propriety; the quality of being proper, fitting or suitable.

Out of necessity, our senior pastor would have to make a “pre-summer” speech on the church dress code. In his humorous but honest way he said, “If we can see the lines of your underwear, your clothes are probably too tight and you shouldn’t wear it.” In a fashion era when every piece of clothing looks like a second layer of skin, that was an appropriate statement!

Yes, I know, “It’s what’s on the inside that really counts.” However, what is conveyed on the outside can be a reflection of what is on the inside. If your fashion decisions are meant to gain the flattering eye of the opposite sex, it will be a hollow thrill. Please take the advice from one who has walked down that path: the lustful responses you provoke are not pleasing to the Lord. Furthermore, it’s not the kind of attention you really want and it brings with it a cost you cannot afford to pay.
Proverbs 7:24-27 Heed me well, my children; let not this warning be in vain; do not let her steal thy heart away. Do not be enticed by her beckoning. For she has cast down many wounded. All her slain are a mighty host. Truly her house is the road to the grave. It leads to the chambers of death.

The dictionary defines lust as: the sexual desire to seek unrestrained gratification of the senses and bodily appetite. Matthew 5:27 says, You have heard the commandment, “Do not commit adultery”, but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman and cherishes lustful thoughts has already committed adultery with her in his own heart.

Men and women are different in many ways. Women are emotionally stimulated while men are visually stimulated. That’s the way God made us. Proverbs 27:20 says, The grave and destruction are never satisfied; so too the eyes of man.

Cultural dressing for the Islamic religion only allows a woman to expose her hands and face. “Waabiism”, a sub-sect of Islam, requires women to be totally covered in black with only a small slit for the eyes in the veil. This legalistic form of dressing merely deletes the identity of a woman therefore is not the answer either.

Last summer I was at a Christian Music Festival. One of the guys asked if I could spend the day with his teenage daughter since he was going to be busy setting up. I agreed to pick her up at the hotel entrance later that morning.

As she opened the car door to join me, I tried not to gasp. First of all, she was gorgeous! I had never seen a more perfect body. Then I realized...... I didn’t have to use my imagination ……. she had very little clothing on! Obviously, she had dressed for a “hot” summer day but we were not at the beach.

When we arrived at the park, we met up with her dad. Within a few minutes she whispered to him. “Dad, is this outfit scandalous?” He said, “Well, honey, I guess if you have to ask the question, then it is.” Quietly reaching into her backpack, she pulled out a full cut shirt to cover her bare midriff, skintight halter-top and “low… low rise” jeans.

Her dad commented to me later. “Her mother was just like her when we first started dating. She had no clue how others perceived her scanty clothing. I had to be the one to tell her.”

For the first time, I realized it was possible that inappropriate dressing could be something other than an intentional decision. If there is not a parent or mentor to help guide those decisions, teenagers choose their trendy styles from movies, TV and fashion magazines. Again, I am not finding fault with fashion or fads. It’s fun to create but do it with discretion.

This is extremely important as you take the role of a leader. People are looking to you as an example. What standard do you want to set? When others look at you, what do they see? The subject of modesty in church leadership is a big concern. When you stand before the congregation, whether you are “the” leader or just a part of the band on the platform, you are a leader. People are “checking you out.”

When every curve or bulge can be seen, I promise you, there are many people having to close there eyes to have a spiritual experience.……men and women alike. If a fabulous body is being flaunted, girls are caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts that range from envy, jealousy, criticism or self-degradation. The guys are fighting their own battle of passion that has been visually ignited.

Girls, let’s be kind to the guys. Don’t make it difficult for them. Think of them as a best friend who needs your help to keep a pure thought life. When they look at us, let their first thought be of Jesus…not a sexy body or lack of it. Save those “sexy outfits” for a date with your spouse.

The same is true for the guys. Tight clothing is not only uncomfortable but distracting. Be kind to the ladies. Let them see your gentleness, compassion and strength of character.

Now…… getting to the “sexy outfit” statement. Husbands and wives need to continue dating even after they’re married. It’s important to keep the “fire of passion” alive for your spouse. Be the one they can’t wait to get home to. I want to encourage you: be a “jewel” on the inside but let your outward appearance be vibrant and pleasing as well. Exercise the “romantic allure” that made your spouse fall in love with you in the first place. Sex is a beautiful thing. God ordained it to be shared between a married man and woman. Throw your sweats in the hamper; change into that outfit that puts a sizzle in your step and a twinkle in your lover’s eye. Enjoy the gender the Lord gave you.

Not only do you want your appearance to be above criticism but your speech as well. Sexually suggestive conversations can lead down a road of unrighteous imagination. You know what I’m talking about…. the two possible comments that follow someone’s statement. One is the innocent comment and the other one has an “off color” sexual slant. You may be tempted to choose the sexual comment because you think it makes you look “clever” or a little “naughty”. My advice is, “Keep your mind out of the gutter.” Get a laugh from jokes that are witty and clean. Proverbs 27:11 He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for a friend. Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who make it a friend shall eats it’s fruit.
Matthew 15:11 What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him “unclean”, but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him “unclean”

Sadly enough, the “sex sells” attitude has crept into the Christian music world. In many cases, to get signed to a record label, marketing managers now require the artist to have “sex appeal.” Can we not, as Christians, set a higher standard? A standard that is moral not sexual; one that promotes the attitude of Jesus and a lifestyle of holiness; one that delights our soul instead of our “fleshly” senses.

Here are some clear fashion guidelines that have proven to work well in most settings.

1. Necklines should not expose cleavage.

2. No tight fitting clothes or see through fabrics. Keep in mind that thin “clingy” fabrics are less “forgiving” than heavier ones. (your physical shape is accentuated with bright lighting; opt for a jacket if necessary)

3. In casual settings, skirts should not be more than 1-2 inches above the knee. For the platform, skirts should be below the knee. Remember, most platforms are elevated which makes the length of a skirt appear shorter from the audience level. Make sure when you are seated that the skirt is designed to give adequate coverage. Be stylish but not risquÈ.

4. No exposed midriffs. Bare midriffs give the suggestion of nudity. If you are on a worship team and one who raises your hands in worship, give that outfit a trial run at home in front of the mirror before you leave.

5. Ladies, make sure if you get a “chill” or a “hormonal surge” you are the only one who knows about it. Shirts that are dark in color or patterned fabrics make a great camouflage.

6. In leadership, short sleeves are acceptable for warm events, however, longer sleeves give a “classier” look. Save the sleeveless shirts for casual settings.

Many times before I leave the house, I ask my husband “Does this outfit look OK?” I not only represent myself but I represent him as well. If you don’t have someone to help you with your fashion decisions, ask the Lord. He will tell you. I even take Him shopping with me. He’s a good shopper and He instructs me on what to buy.

I attended one of the most beautiful funerals this week. I know, it doesn’t seem like “beautiful” and “funeral” should be in the same sentence, however this was an exception. One of our friends lost his 16-year-old daughter in a tragic car accident. We knew her well. Not only had we spent time in their home but we would also see her occasionally working part time in her dad’s office. She was stunning! In fact, we would often tease her dad about “needing to get out the shotgun to keep the boys away.” She was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. I was keenly aware of her genuine love for people. She was always quick to give a warm hug or ask, “How are you?” And she really wanted to know.

There were over 2000 people gathered at her funeral. I have never experienced such intense emotions. Why was she so loved? Because she loved so much. I was amazed at the depth of character in such a young person. The thing that impressed me most about her life was that she exemplified the word “Halal.” Halal means: praise that comes naturally to those who radiate the presence and character of Christ. This radiance can only happen as a direct result from an intimate relationship with the Lord. Even her fashion choices reflected parental care and guidance. They were always “trendy” but appropriate.

Since we do not live in a perfect world we have some choices to make. Every billboard, magazine, TV show and movie suggests that everyone worships the “goddess” of sexuality. Christians have to rise to a higher standard of living. If we don’t, we are no different from the animal kingdom. Their sexual instincts are merely to populate. God’s design for us is a free will and sacred choice.

To keep our hearts pure, we must choose our focus. When temptations come, will we discipline our eyes to look away or take the journey of unclean fantasy?
Psalm 101:3 I will set before my eyes no vile thing.
The definition of vile is: cheap, worthless, attributing no value to a person other than a fleeting moment of selfish pleasure.

As you desire to become more like Jesus, allow Him to complete the transformation. Let your heart, your tongue, your appearance and conduct reflect the purity of Jesus. When others speak your name, may it be with honor and high regard. A respectful reputation will never be forgotten. It will be your crown and legacy. Proverbs 22:1 A good name is more to be desired than great wealth, and to be respected it better than silver or gold.